Doing the dishes with God...

Lately, I've noticed a small trend going on in my life...the more I get in the Word of God the less I like myself, the more "ugly" I see in myself. It's been quite frustrating to be honest with you. I was hoping that by getting in His Word and spending time with Him that I would become nicer, more well rounded, a wonderful housekeeper and helpmeet and just overall a better person. It's been quite the opposite though. I find myself being meaner, short tempered, lazy, and the list goes on. 

Tonight while doing the dishes, all the kids were in bed, Jason was doing school work, the tv was off. It was silent (besides the noise of the dishes clanking together). I found myself thinking of a situation that just occurred that was making my heart upset and irritated. After a few minutes of thinking about it, I decided to make a switch of thoughts- to hand those thoughts over to the Lords b/c it's not mind to dwell on, it's not good to dwell on those things that make you angry and upset. So as I was talking with God about the situation I also mentioned to Him my concern of how I've been acting and how I thought it was completely contrary to what I was hoping would happen by spending time in His Word.

As I stood there loading the dishwasher and washing the pots and pans, the Lord revealed my heart to me. He revealed that I was wanting to change things on my own- I was wanting to make myself be a better mom, I was wanting to make myself a better wife, a better housekeeper, a better EVERYTHING- but all my efforts are nothing... NOTHING...if the Lord isn't the One doing it in me, and the more I spend time in His Word, the more I'm going to see the "ugly" in me, but I need to hand it over to the Lord for HIM to do His Work in me.

"But we are all as an unclean thing, and all our righteousnesses are as filthy rags..." 

Isaiah 64:6

Ultimately- it's not about me- it's about HIM. It's about what HE is working in my life- not about what I'm trying to make come to pass. It's for HIS glory!

"...he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." 

Philippians 1:6 

I am nothing without Him. Thank You Jesus that you're working in my life, that You are consuming who I am, to work things out for Your glory.

Thank You for doing the dishes with me...